Trailer Trash

Tonight we're having a cry

If you’re subscribed here, I feel comfortable saying that we’re probably both frozen in furious mourning with explosions of energy and long periods of trying to distract ourselves—scrolling, trying to read, watching the dishwasher minutes tick down to put the dishes away; to occupy myself with something, anything. I’ve been making a ton of videos for social, and it may sound surprising to anyone following me, I’m only posting about half of what I make.

I’m caught up in it, fam.

I have a well researched post surrounding everything that was the Elon salute. It’s really strong. Persuasive. I’ve failed to the pull the trigger on it three times.

The first time was immediately after writing it yesterday morning. The next was last night when you got the Shabbat post instead.

And, friends, quick aside, I’m proud of that Shabbat post, and I’d love to see it get a little broader audience, so if you liked it, maybe go click over to it and give it a restack.

At any rate, earlier tonight was the third time I decided against sending that post. I’ve been wondering about what’s stood in my way. It’s not necessarily concern about the content. While the post is significantly more developed, I’ve made each point casually in short-form videos. I think the deal is this. I need a break from the horror.

I think the Shabbat post was my writer's brain forcing myself into a break. A step into the palace in time. A chance to take a deep breath, spend time with a tradition I love, and take the work off my shoulders for a night.

Stepping back into the week as Shabbat ends, I realize I’m not serving myself by constantly consuming and producing content. Plenty of other talking heads all over social are making plenty of the same points.

Candidly, I’m afraid of where this is heading for me, too. The tenor of my videos is to inform and to uplift, and it’s not a place where I’ve found it appropriate to center my personal state. I make a lot of those videos about marginalized communities and vulnerable people, but dudes, I’m a little freaked out for me, too.

I mean, beyond the paper trail of criticism of the administration that Meta’s probably got on me, I’m like very publicly Jewish, in a side of the city where there aren’t that many of us, and the local and state politics are dominated by MAGA. When I see Nazi salutes from behind the Presidential Seal, followed up by the same guy tweeting Holocaust jokes, then telling the hard right German AfD party to stop feeling guilty about the actions of their grandfathers and great grandfathers…

Well, I’m sort of having a moment over here.

After all, a lot of these folks want folk like me moving to Israel to trigger the second coming when they’ll get saved, and we’ll get torched. Yeah, so it’s all a little uneasy.

I need a break from the horror. If I let that post into the wild, the Elon one, then I’ll be accountable to managing it. I put a lot of content on social, and I run communications where I work, including social, so this may not be everybody’s understanding, but people who never get the chutzpah to create their own thing and put it into the world are all too happy to let you know how they feel about whatever you put out there.

When you post on social, you’re accountable to that post; to monitor the comments and block the trolls. To engage the thoughtful criticism and show appreciation for support.

That Elon post would put me on the hook for some close management, and I just don’t have it in the tanks right now. I’m tired.

So, instead, we’re all taking a break. In fact, we may all just have a cry. I want us to listen to Trailer Trash from Modest Mouse. Yes, together.

Why?

This song opens a door for empathy. The adult narrator of this song is wrestling with his childhood circumstances. These are circumstances very different from my own childhood, and yet this song is also very relatable. I think we could use the practice imagining ourselves into someone else’s childhood. We all had one, ya know.

I think if we’re going to survive this, we have to quickly move past the left-right divide and understand we’re now in the up-down divide. I’d love to talk more about this, but the short answer now is to bulid in-person relationships in your community because we all share the same class conditions. To do that, we’ll need empathy to see each other deeper than our voting record. So, let’s practice.

It’s one of my favorite Modest Mouse songs, and it always gets me with a little sob by the end. I think musically, the instruments and lyrics partner with each other rather than one serving only to feature the other. Also, when the lead takes over at 4:08. Great moment.

My ask of you, if you think you may need a break or a good cry. Let’s put our feet flat on the floor, feel the weight of our bodies in our seats. Breathe in through the nose. Hold. Slowly out through the mouth. Here’s the song and lyrics below.

I’ll catch ya next time. xx. <3 -a.

Eating snowflakes with plastic forks
And a paper plate, of course
You think of everything

Short love with a long divorce
And a couple of kids, of course
They don't mean anything

Live in trailers with no class
Goddamn, I hope I can pass
High school means nothing

Taking heartache with hard work
Goddamn, I am such a jerk
I can't do anything

And I shout that you're all fakes (fakes)
And you should've seen the look on your face
And I guess that's what it takes
When comparing your bellyaches

And it's been a long time
Which agrees with this watch of mine
And I know that I miss you
And I'm sorry if I dissed you

Eating snowflakes with plastic forks
And a paper plate, of course
You think of everything

Short love with a long divorce
And a couple of kids, of course
They don't mean anything

Live in trailers with no class
Goddamn, I hope I can pass
High school means nothing

Taking heartache with hard work
Goddamn, I am such a jerk
I can't do anything

And I shout that you're all fakes (fakes)
And you should've seen the look on your face
And I guess that's what it takes
When comparing your bellyaches

And it's been a long time
Which agrees with this watch of mine
And I guess that I miss you
And I'm sorry if I dissed you